Doing Better

I'm doing better, but I guess that's just because I try to not think about it. Maybe it would have been better to feel sad some more days, because it could be that if I don't deal with it now it will come back and haunt me later. It happened to me before. You can repress now, but one day it will come up again. But right now I'm looking ahead. I have to as I have to make some important decisions as whether or not getting the room that I can get and move into from July. Yesterday I thought no. How could I? I missed home and all my friends. So at first I thought, I can't do it, I won't take the room. But then I started thinking, I do want to live on my own and go on living the way I'm used to now, meaning, taking care of myself. So after no longer being in that state of sadness and confusion, I asked myself the same question again, do I want the room or not? And I do. So I will move on and move out. Tonight we have to play football again, we The Netherlands :), but we're through already. So the one to watch is Italy against France. Exciting stuff. Oh, and what about the future of this blog? Well, I will post pictures etc., I have a lot still to show. I will try and go on writing about Scotland and I will start a new blog about what interests me. I probably won't right something everday anymore, maybe I will, don't know. But I guess it won't be a summary of every day as I used to do. Just things I would like to share. I hope everyone is doing fine.

I'm Not There (The Bitter End, The Final Chapter)

Knock on my door, Grimshill 16, and I won't open. Look for me around campus and you won't find me. I've left and I'm not coming back any time soon. It really has ended. My Canterbury life is finished. It hit me on the plane back home where I found myself crying the moment I sat down. And when we landed same happened. I was teary eyed all the time until my dad picked my brother, mum, and me up from the train station. I want to thank everyone who has been with me all these amazing months, who went through it all and have made all of this the most wonderful experience ever. Really nothing can compare. We spend life together and I miss all of you very very much already. Life goes on and once again I'm on my own. Now I have to go back and start making new plans again. You gain and you lose. I wish I could have it all.

Leaving Home To Go Back Home

I'm leaving Parkwood tomorrow (or today, Saturday), then stay in London for the night and (my brother wants to shop) and then leave in the evning 7.30 pm on Sunday. We won again 4-1 against France, yahoo! I don't have the same bus as Alice it turns out. I cleaned almost all night (or morning actually) and didn't get much help doing so. Alice went to Adriana's place to have a sleepless night saying goodbye. I tried to join, but don't have credit on my phone so stood outside waving but noone saw me. Hope to catch hold of her later! Chaos all around. But now time for a nap until 6!

Last Real Day

Today is my final real day here in Parkwood. Tomorrow morning I'm leaving early to catch the National Express of 9.05 am. But, guess who will be with me on the bus, Alice! So we have enough time to say goodbye. Don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. It will probably feel kind of weird and really sad. I don't think I'll cry though, hopefully. Last night we went to this part at Cherry Drive. I was extremely tired, like I've been for most of my last days here. But it was cool, I had never been there before. In the afternoon around 5.30 I went to Alice's place to share pictures with her and Véeronique, so we brought our computers and shared all the pictures we have. So more for me to post here and for all of you to see. In the morning I started watching Sideways but I didn't finish yet. I did start packing my suitcase and I will finish to do so today. I don't think I realize I'm leaving, which is a bad thing, 'cause I want to feel it, to be aware so hopefully I will miss this place less. 'Cause I know that when I don't realize it now I will have that moment of realization back in The Neterlands and then it will hit me hard and it will be already to late. I will be gone.

Still Here

Helloooo everyone! :)

Fireworks!

June 7, Arts Fest. Standing in the crowd in front of a big stage watching the fireworks! :)

Need Time

I think I'm going to watch Sideways, then make changes to my long dissertation and then I'll see wat the evening brings. Yesterday I had lunch at Alice's place where we said goodbye to Penelope. She made it home safely she emailed, but it's strange she's no longer here. Now almost all of my friends have left I really start to feel the difference and miss them even more than I already did. Can't believe tomorrow is my last real day here in Parkwood. Saturday I will have to leave very early. Last night we had dinner, but I didn't stay longer than 2 am. A lot of people were still there, but I was tired and didn't feel like I would really do/say anything special anymore so I felt it was better to just go to bed and actually I feel like I need some time by myself. So much has happened, so much has changed. I need time to process things, but then again, I'm leaving soon so everyone wants to spend as much time together as possible. So hopefully this afternoon I can recharge my battery a bit. I said goodbye to Jan last night. he came by Alice's place when we had dinner so we could say goodbye to him. But both Jan and Penelope I will see in Italy in August, so we'll meet again. And March 2009 there are plans for a reunion in Paris! I'll be there! :) I vacuum cleaned my room yesterday but apart from that I haven't done anything else when it comes to cleaning and packing. I don't want to take the things from my walls yet, I don't want to take the suitcase from underneath my bed. I want to see my room as it has been for the last couple of months just for one more day. I'll miss you room. Hope you're new owner will be good to you ;)