When We Were Young

From the first week and Fresher's. We looked so different :)

Glasgow - Day 4

Inverness - Day 3

Edinburgh - Day 1 + 2

Glasgow - Day 1

Some pictures from the trip to Scotland where I went together with the lovely Véronique. Starting out with Glasgow, first day.

My Life As A Blog

It's an experiment: MY LIFE AS A BLOG

Don't Know What's Real Anymore

I feel like my head's all messed up and I don't know what's real anymore. It's good not to be too much aware of that I've left, 'cause it makes me less sad and makes that I can go on like nothing ever happened. But that's the problem, I don't want to go on like nothing happened, 'cause things did happen and I miss everyone so much. Just being there. Being able to visit everyone whenever I want. And right now I feel I just don't realize I've left or maybe even that I've ever been there at all. And I don't really dare to go outside as I know that everything I see will remind me I'm not there anymore. On Monday sitting in the car I didn't really dare to look out the window and when walking on the street I kept looking down at the pavement. Looking around me I don't see Parkwood anymore, I don't see familiar faces appear in the crowds of people. Well, I do think I see familiar faces, but of course that's just my imagination. I'm scared of seeing someone I know who will ask me what it was like in Canterbury and I will just break down, 'cause I miss it way too much still. It's too early to really talk about it. Here nothing changed and everything seems just the way it used to be. I feel noone really understands what I miss and what all of this has meant to me. It was not just an experience another thing to add to my life. It was my life. And until Saturday I was still in it, still living it. There was no reason to leave, to give it up. It was still going on. I miss all the friends I made. I even miss the faces of all those people I didn't know, but just saw on a daily basis. I miss everything, the whole place. Now it seems like it just didn't exist. I want to get it back, but I can't. It's hard not being able to look in people's eyes anymore, having them just sitting next to you. But as I said before so far I now manage to move on. Looking back isn't a good thing, 'cause it will only bring sadness, but part of me wants to. I want to go through that feeling of missing everyone. I want to think about it, 'cause I love thinking about it. It means so much to me. But i can't afford being sad all the time, it wouldn't be fair to people here. But it's just so difficult. I never cried when I went back to Parkwood and left The Netherlands. I missed it a bit, but never that much. It was because I didn't really have anything here apart from family, friends. But now I know what it feels like to be homesick. And it isn't like I did any extraordinary things over the last couple of days. All we did was meet up etc. but that is what made my life so nice. Being among friends, people you enjoy, care for. Going to visit all these places with friends, whenever you felt like it. Go dance, eat, watch movies, go for walks, or just talk, spend time together, nomatter how, what it was we did, as long as it was together it was great. Seeing all those friendly faces every single day and just spend time together. Be with people you want to be with and who want to be with you. We were all in it together and it was so nice to be able to share all this with all of you. Noone can take it away from us. Ever. I will cherish every second.

Go Netherlands!

Watching the football match June 9, Italy against The Netherlands. The girls watched the match on the big screen which was a bit further away, I kept my eyes close on the smaller one which was nearer. We won though! That picture with the salad was what I ate. It was big with a lot of cheese, a bit too much maybe for just a couple small pieces of bread. But it was good, really good!

Doing Better

I'm doing better, but I guess that's just because I try to not think about it. Maybe it would have been better to feel sad some more days, because it could be that if I don't deal with it now it will come back and haunt me later. It happened to me before. You can repress now, but one day it will come up again. But right now I'm looking ahead. I have to as I have to make some important decisions as whether or not getting the room that I can get and move into from July. Yesterday I thought no. How could I? I missed home and all my friends. So at first I thought, I can't do it, I won't take the room. But then I started thinking, I do want to live on my own and go on living the way I'm used to now, meaning, taking care of myself. So after no longer being in that state of sadness and confusion, I asked myself the same question again, do I want the room or not? And I do. So I will move on and move out. Tonight we have to play football again, we The Netherlands :), but we're through already. So the one to watch is Italy against France. Exciting stuff. Oh, and what about the future of this blog? Well, I will post pictures etc., I have a lot still to show. I will try and go on writing about Scotland and I will start a new blog about what interests me. I probably won't right something everday anymore, maybe I will, don't know. But I guess it won't be a summary of every day as I used to do. Just things I would like to share. I hope everyone is doing fine.

I'm Not There (The Bitter End, The Final Chapter)

Knock on my door, Grimshill 16, and I won't open. Look for me around campus and you won't find me. I've left and I'm not coming back any time soon. It really has ended. My Canterbury life is finished. It hit me on the plane back home where I found myself crying the moment I sat down. And when we landed same happened. I was teary eyed all the time until my dad picked my brother, mum, and me up from the train station. I want to thank everyone who has been with me all these amazing months, who went through it all and have made all of this the most wonderful experience ever. Really nothing can compare. We spend life together and I miss all of you very very much already. Life goes on and once again I'm on my own. Now I have to go back and start making new plans again. You gain and you lose. I wish I could have it all.

Leaving Home To Go Back Home

I'm leaving Parkwood tomorrow (or today, Saturday), then stay in London for the night and (my brother wants to shop) and then leave in the evning 7.30 pm on Sunday. We won again 4-1 against France, yahoo! I don't have the same bus as Alice it turns out. I cleaned almost all night (or morning actually) and didn't get much help doing so. Alice went to Adriana's place to have a sleepless night saying goodbye. I tried to join, but don't have credit on my phone so stood outside waving but noone saw me. Hope to catch hold of her later! Chaos all around. But now time for a nap until 6!

Last Real Day

Today is my final real day here in Parkwood. Tomorrow morning I'm leaving early to catch the National Express of 9.05 am. But, guess who will be with me on the bus, Alice! So we have enough time to say goodbye. Don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. It will probably feel kind of weird and really sad. I don't think I'll cry though, hopefully. Last night we went to this part at Cherry Drive. I was extremely tired, like I've been for most of my last days here. But it was cool, I had never been there before. In the afternoon around 5.30 I went to Alice's place to share pictures with her and Véeronique, so we brought our computers and shared all the pictures we have. So more for me to post here and for all of you to see. In the morning I started watching Sideways but I didn't finish yet. I did start packing my suitcase and I will finish to do so today. I don't think I realize I'm leaving, which is a bad thing, 'cause I want to feel it, to be aware so hopefully I will miss this place less. 'Cause I know that when I don't realize it now I will have that moment of realization back in The Neterlands and then it will hit me hard and it will be already to late. I will be gone.

Still Here

Helloooo everyone! :)

Fireworks!

June 7, Arts Fest. Standing in the crowd in front of a big stage watching the fireworks! :)

Need Time

I think I'm going to watch Sideways, then make changes to my long dissertation and then I'll see wat the evening brings. Yesterday I had lunch at Alice's place where we said goodbye to Penelope. She made it home safely she emailed, but it's strange she's no longer here. Now almost all of my friends have left I really start to feel the difference and miss them even more than I already did. Can't believe tomorrow is my last real day here in Parkwood. Saturday I will have to leave very early. Last night we had dinner, but I didn't stay longer than 2 am. A lot of people were still there, but I was tired and didn't feel like I would really do/say anything special anymore so I felt it was better to just go to bed and actually I feel like I need some time by myself. So much has happened, so much has changed. I need time to process things, but then again, I'm leaving soon so everyone wants to spend as much time together as possible. So hopefully this afternoon I can recharge my battery a bit. I said goodbye to Jan last night. he came by Alice's place when we had dinner so we could say goodbye to him. But both Jan and Penelope I will see in Italy in August, so we'll meet again. And March 2009 there are plans for a reunion in Paris! I'll be there! :) I vacuum cleaned my room yesterday but apart from that I haven't done anything else when it comes to cleaning and packing. I don't want to take the things from my walls yet, I don't want to take the suitcase from underneath my bed. I want to see my room as it has been for the last couple of months just for one more day. I'll miss you room. Hope you're new owner will be good to you ;)

Football. Laundry. Cinema

Penelope left this afternoon, so now we're even less than we already were. My own departure is getting closer too, so I better be ready for it. Yesterday I watched Spain against Russia after going into town where I did some minor grocery shopping. I also had to do a bit of laundry so before going to Woody's to watch the match I went to the laundrette to put my clothes in the washing machine. I met Claire whow as doing hers as well. Then I went to watch the match. I arrived just in time and joined Jasmine and Marie who were already sitting comfortable on a couch and ready to watch the match. Jasmine is a real football fan ever since she discovered David Villa. First I guess it started as a crush but then she really got interested in Villa and his club Valencia and since then she's a real supporter. Véronique joined us as well later on. Penelope was still studying so Véro kind of came to support Spain for her. During half time I went to put my clothes in the dryer and then went back to watch the match. Though I left early, because at 6.50 Still Life would play in the Gulbenkian and I really needed to see it. I'm glad I went because it's very good. I enjoyed it very much, especially the film's atmosphere and there were some beautiful shots. After the film I had dinner at Penelope's and Véronique's place together with Claire and Jasmine. The girls had already started, as they were going to eat at 8. But of course there was still enough left for me to enjoy. I almost forgot about my clothes so eventually I left to pick them up. Now I'm going back to have dinner at Alice's place again. Left-overs, left-overs, left-overs! Oh, and pictures etc. of Scotland and everything else will be posted soon, I promise! :)

Let's Make A Deal And Go To Margate

So we won last night, surprise surprise. I should have put some money on The Netherlands for if they would win, I could have earned some money! :) So yeah, of course Alice and everyone else supporting Italy weren't so happy with the final results. But I was and I have to say that my allegiance to The Netherlands is stronger than it has ever been now I'm here. Normally I would support Portugal, Spain, and Sweden for some odd reason. Also Italy, but just a bit less. But this time around I realy enjoy supporting 'my country', which is probably because I kind of miss it a b it and afterall it is my first home. So yesterday we watched with a lot of people in Woody's. A lot of people ate deserts and everything. I had this salad which was pretty big and included a lot of cheese. In the afternoon I was in Margate at the beach with Alice, Véronique and Claire. The weather was extremely nice, I was baking in the sun. However, there was a cool breeze and because of that I ended up being covered with sand all over. I had a shower after, but this morning waking up, there was sand surrounding me. Apparently there was still a lot of sand in my hair. The day before we went to Deal with Cécilia and her parents (Cécilia left early yesterday morning by car), Claire, Alice and Shirley. We visited the castle, which was a small one but still very nice, lots of small dark tunnels and sat on a terrace where the girls had a desert. We then later on had dinner together at Alice's place which as always was very pleasant. Tomorrow Penelope will leave us and Tania as well. Penelope will leave around 2 in the afternoon and we will have lunch at 12 before to say goodbye. This afternoon/evening I watched Spain against Russia and they won 4-1. I only saw the first two goals, 'cause after I went to the Gulbenkian for the very last time to watch Still Life.

The Italian VS The Dutch

In some minutes it will happen and we are all going to watch. Alicia even bet some money on Italy, hoping they will win. Dennis left her a bag of coins and now she's going to bet. I'm not sure if Italy will win though. Normally I'm not really supporting my own country, but for some reason this time I really feel like to. I was all afternoon in Margate, just got back. They have a sand beach and I have been lying there all afternoon, cause the weather is GOOD!

Saying Goodbye Is Never Easy

Victoria and Stuart just left. It's hard seeing people leave. Their life now goes on as they will have left Parkwood. It makes me realize even more that the end really is near. I just can't believe it has been something like 10 months. It makes me feel sad knowing this will all be over by next week. You want to hold on to it, but you can't. But they'll be both studying in London next year, so they will be back. Well, if the two of you happen to read this, I wish you all the best and good luck for the future, but I'm sure the two of you will be fine. Today I will go and visit Deal. Last days. :(

Living The Fast Life

Victoria is leaving tomorrow (or actually today), I got a new housemate, I got back from Scotland, and I attended Arts Fest which was a blast. Tuesday morning I woke up early to pick up Véronique at 4.45 to be able to catch the coach of 5.45. We got in London something like two hours later and because we had some time left before having to take the Easybus, we went to Starbucks for an espresso and a Mango Passion fruit drink (for me of course). It was raining a bit and already crowded with people going to their everyday job. After our drink we went to the Easybus which would take us to Stansted where we took the plane to Glasgow. We ended up running to the gate as goign to the toilet before and having our luggage checked took all a bit longer than expected. However, our plane was late, almost one hour. But we managed to wait and be patient. In Glasgow we took the train and the weather was already pretty nice. We were very lucky, 'cause it was sunny. So sunny that I could walk around in my T-shirt. We walked around with a map with things to visit, so we saw a lot of things. Then we went to this teahouse where we had a tea and I had a bowl of muesli. I expected something very special, but the muesli was actually pretty basic. But it was fine though. We stayed in Glasgow until some minutes before 7. Around that time we had to take the bus to Edinburgh where we would stay for the night. Arriving in Edinburgh, at first it didn't seem as that much of a cool place and less nice than Glasgow. But this was because of the way the bus took and the place where we entered the city. After getting off the bus and meeting Jan, Karin, Jan's girlfriend and another friend of theirs, we walked on and discovered the beauty of Edinburgh. It was a real coincidence meeting Jan as we knew they would go back the day we would arrive and therefore would be unable to meet, but never did I expect to just run in to them casually on the street. Such a small world. We wanted to eat somewhere and because Jan and the others had just eaten, they suggested we should go to the same place, which was a Chinese restaurant. Véronique and I both had a soup and as a desert Véro had this lemon filled with ice-cream which she really enjoyed and I had an apple fritter, which were some fried pieces of apple coated with some kind of honey sauce. It was delicious and I enjoyed every bite. We then went to look for the hostel which, as the directions indicated, realy happened to be close to the Edinburgh castle. Our hostel was called Castle Rock and was oh so good. Such a nice place. You could bring your entire family if you want, that's how clean it is, how big and neat, well organized. I only have positive things to say about the place. It was so much better than the hostel I slept in during those 5 days in London. The bathroom was mixed, which was a good thing, so Véronique and I could go take a shower at the same time without having to wait for each other as we only had one key for our room. So no shower in the bedroom, which was a room for something like 13 people, but only like four or six others were staying in the same room with us. A great thing was that the room had lockers so you felt very safe as well. And it's less of a mess, because everyone almost puts all their stuff away. So I had a very good night in the hostel and would love to go back. The pictures which I will post later will show you how nice it was. Now I'm going to bed. It's getting late and it would be way too much to write about the other days right now as well. Sweet dreams. I'm out. It's strange though how we are now even with less people left now we're back. It's already not the same without Dennis. Things change.

BACK!

I'm back, but really, now I need to go to bed. I've been awake way too long, for which most part my pc is too blame. I couldn't resist catching up with what's going on on the net, particularly when it comes to music. Scotland was great, particularly Edinburgh, what an awesome city. Loved it and the hostel we had there, sensational. So nice, so friendly looking. Compared to the hostel I had in London it's a five star hotel! I'll soon tell much more about the trip and show pictures. Though, tomorrow I already am invited for lunch at 1.30 pm at Alice's place and at Kent it's Arts Fest, this great festival on campus, so I'll be busy busy busy. My last days. Hope the weather is going to be pretty! Sleep well my friends! I'm off to bed.

Flying To Scotland

I will fly to Scotland early tomorrow morning together with Véronique. We will visit Glasgow, Edinburgh and Inverness (to see Nessy!). At 7 pm this evening (in already 20 minutes) I will go back to Alice's kitchen for dinner and to say goodbye to Dennis who will leave on Wednesday, but I won't be there :( But i'm looking forward to Scotland, it's going to be fun!

One Of Those Parties

Thanks to Adriana who took the pictures. I don't remember when this party was exactly, but it was the one where we stayed very early and ended up sitting on the ground and Andy talking about history and stuff :)

Wet Feet

In Whitstable this Saturday with Véronique.

Chinatown

From my day in London with Dennis. He's eating the now famous fish soup!