Too Many Goodbyes

These last couple of weeks have been really hard, but especially the last couple of days. It's hard having to say goodbye to people, not having them around anymore, to be left with things you want to ask, things you want to say, and not by email, by letter or anything, but just in person. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it has been even more difficult than I expected it to be. Yesterday Sandra left, but most of the pain and sadness was and still is from last Saturday. So I haven't even gotten to the point of really missing some people as most of it is overshadowed by this one person still. I was happy on Sunday that we had the lunch, had the dinner, that I woke up and first thing I did was bake my bread and then went to play squash. I was surrounded by friends all the time or was busy preparing something that I had no time to be sad. But yesterday and today I have been alone and it has been hard and confusing, so many things at the same time. It's way too much. But I'm okay, even if I'm not. It rained yesterday. I had ten hours of sleep, so good. But no it didn't change anything in the end. I didn't know people noticed me being less talkative than normal. I thought I was holding up real fine. I know I have these moments that I kind of zone out, but I didn't realize it was that obvious. I'm sorry for that. But yesterday we had dinner together in Alice's kitchen in honour of the lovely Sandra who left early this morning. The sweet sweet girl who used to be my next door neighbour when we were still living in Rutherford college. She and Heidi were the first people I met. They were talking outside my room, introducing themselves to each other and I could hear them. I was on the phone speaking to my dad or my mother after just having arrived. My door was open. She was watching Desperate Housewives with Alice in Alice's room when I got to Alice's place at 8. They weren't finished yet so I was forced to watch with them :p But Desperate Housewives, it's so over the top, so overly dramatic. Just too much. I always say that you must be really desperate to watch Desperate Housewives. :) But I guess it's very entertaining. Then Penelope arrived and Véronique. Dennis came just some minutes later. So we moved to the kitchen to start preparing all the leftovers Sandra had. We turned it into pasta with tomato sauce, some crêpes, made in a real crêpe pan by Véronique. I had made another bread, still had some flour and filling left and Sandra made this avocado mix. There was some corn, some courgette from Sunday evening and some other things. It was really nice and still a lot for 8 people. Jasmine joined us later on and Cécilia was with us as well of course. I also shared some ice-cream with Jasmine and Sandra and had some soup that Jasmine made. With Dennis and Sandra I had like four salmiakki shots. But with pauses between every shot of course :) I remember those salmiakki lollies they used to have and I found them disgusting, like a lot of kids. But as I got older I liked them a bit better. But this salmiakki, I'm not really sure if I like it. In the beginning it's good, it's okay, but then it gets too strong. The taste is just too difficult to describe. Sandra started making a puppet again with boxes which we ended up calling Bruce and he will travel around Canterbury (hopefully, please don't kill him!). People just have to pass Bruce on to friends and give him a good time. Make a picture and we will put it on Facebook where he has his own Facebook group. So we were being creative again. Véronique and Penelope had already left before that as did Cécilia, though she never really leaves as she lives with Alice. Eventually we all said goodbye to Sandra and Dennis, Jasmine and I walked back home. It's not cool saying goodbye to people you don't want to say goodbye to. But there are plans to do a reunion in Paris in March 2009! :) So I'm looking forward to that. For me Paris is not that expensive, so I'm definitely going to be there. Well, I have to put my clothes in the dryer. Penelope is preparing a Spanish dinner which I will attend at 8! Really cool. So much food lately, can't say I don't eat enough.